Outing Myself

You’d think that once you’ve come out as having herpes on the CBC, as well as publishing a blog about having herpes that the work would be done. But, in reality, I think about having herpes all the time and worry that people will judge me, find me unattractive, think I’m diseased and therefore disgusting all the time, no matter how often I say it out loud.

Tonight I was at a gathering, and it was really fun and someone asked me what my ‘claim to fame’ was. I said it was telling the world, through the CBC that I have herpes. He was a lovely young man and his response was ” wow, you have herpes”.  Since he’s an aware and wonderful person, he meant it like ‘great, so many people do but I never meet anyone who actually says it’ kind of way. But I clenched and felt judged. Which is my stuff, not his and I wonder if I’ll ever get over it. And then I wonder how people who keep herpes a secret manage to tell others or come out about having herpes when it feels like such a challenge to me, even after telling the whole world about it.



3 responses to this post.

  1. It’s hard to tell the truth in a world that just loves to keep secrets. Stand proud and pat yourself on the back because you have the high moral ground here Shelley as do I and a few more of us whom are honest enough to do the right thing.

    I struggled with hiding HSV for years and it just isn’t sustainable nor healthy mind wise. This is why this site and others are magnificent because it is a way for people to take the first step and test the water before jumping in.

    Well done lady I say.



  2. I feel the same way. I work in a hospital and I wonder all the time if I would ever date any on my co-workers again because of my Herpes. I also wonder if any of my co-workers themselves have Herpes. I don’t think I could ever just come out and tell somebody that I work with that I have it…it’s too embarrassing.


  3. Posted by Melanie on December 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    I am so ashamed at my older age. I thought I was being safe….used protection, got tested as did my partner but still got herpes and hpv. I have retreated from the world more than I already was. I told the man in my life that we couldn’t see each other and to go get tested. I can never face him again and I definitely will never kiss or have sex with a man again.
    My hat is off to you for your courage…..


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